Owners, instructors and dancers at Fred Astaire Dance Studios hear women agonize over this predicament all the time. They want to dance, but more than that, they want to dance with their husbands. Unfortunately, their husbands would rather do just about anything other than spend their evening on the dance floor. These women either head to the dance studio alone…or not at all.

Sound familiar?

Don’t worry ladies, you’re not alone. This dilemma is more common than you think.

“Ballroom dancing can be a little intimidating for men who are used to being in control,” says Jim David, Fred Astaire Dance Studios owner. “When couples begin dancing, it’s awkward. It’s a new way of relating with each other. New moves, new communication, it all takes time and practice. Women are usually more willing to work through the beginning phases of learning to dance. Men can be a bit more resistant.”

So, what are you to do if your man refuses to throw on his dancing shoes? Try one of these tips from Fred Astaire Dance Studios owners:

Choose a special occasion, then make your move! Birthdays, anniversaries and holidays (like Valentine’s Day and Christmas) are a perfect time to ask your husband to join you on the dance floor. Not all men like to shop for gifts, so if this sounds like your husband, you’ll be doing him a favor. Several weeks before the big day, tell the man in your life the only thing you want is for him to dance with you. Surely, he wouldn’t want to turn down a request like that!

Plan for the big event. Have a wedding coming up? How about a 25 year high school reunion? Big events like these are terrific opportunities to introduce the idea of dance lessons so he can be the hit of the party! Remember, learning to dance can take time so don’t spring this on him a month before the big event. Pick an event that is at least six months away so he has time to really polish his dancing skills.

Let’s make a deal! If you’ve been in the dancing tug-of-war for awhile, this approach might work. Schedule an introductory lesson at your local dance studio for you and your husband. Tell him that if he agrees to do this one lesson with you and he hates it, you’ll never bring it up again. When he agrees, be sure to call the dance studio and let them know about the deal you made so they can work extra hard to make sure your husband has a great time!

Pick another Partner, then show off your stuff. No one says you can’t start to take dance lessons by yourself! Head to the dance studio and pick up a partner while you’re there. Dance studios routinely put on performances for friends and family, so after several lessons, invite your husband to come and watch you perform with your new partner. Let your dance instructor know that your husband is coming to watch you dance and that what you really want is to be dancing with him. Fred Astaire Dance Studios owners will go out of their way to make sure your husband has such a great time that he will want to give it a try. All you have to do is get him there!

Does he have a good sense of humor? If you’re pretty sure you won’t get into trouble, you might try this trick around April Fool’s Day, or maybe even Cinco de Mayo. Tell him that you would like to check out this place known for its great salsa, then bring him to the dance studio for a salsa lesson! It wouldn’t hurt to let him know there will be an actual Mexican dinner afterwards. Your treat, of course!

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